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Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Home is so Sad

Another 12 hour day at work & the prospect of working a couple more 55+ hours a week got me to thinking about the place I go home to at night. It's times like these when I wonder what it would be like to be at home during certain hours of the day.

Home is so Sad

Home is so sad. It stays as it was left,
Shaped to the comfort of the last to go
As if to win them back. Instead, bereft
Of anyone to please, it withers so,
Having no heart to put aside the theft

And turn again to what it started as,
A joyous shot at how things ought to be,
Long fallen wide. You can see how it was:
Look at the pictures and the cutlery.
The music in the piano stool. That vase.

Philip Larkin, the Less Deceived

The week hasn't started off too good, my one day off was canceled due to some silly meeting I forgot about, & so I had to cancel spending time with three of my favorite people in the world.

However, my mother told me about how Ella walked into her surgery with complete confidence that everything would be okay & it made my day. It's either the faith of a child to know that everything will be okay or the fact that Ella is a remarkable little girl. I think it's both.

The Trapeze Swinger

Please, remember me
Happily
By the rosebush laughing
With bruises on my chin
The time when
We counted every black car passing
Your house beneath the hill
And up until
Someone caught us in the kitchen
With maps, a mountain range,
A piggy bank
A vision too removed to mention
But

Please, remember me
Fondly
I heard from someone you're still pretty
And then
They went on to say
That the pearly gates
Had some eloquent graffiti
Like 'We'll meet again'
And 'F&*k the man'
And 'Tell my mother not to worry'
And angels with their gray
Handshakes
Were always done in such a hurry
And

Please, remember me
At Halloween
Making fools of all the neighbors
Our faces painted white
By midnight
We'd forgotten one another
And when the morning came
I was ashamed
Only now it seems so silly
That season left the world
And then returned
And now you're lit up by the city
So

Please, remember me
Mistakenly
In the window of the tallest tower call
Then pass us by
But much too high
To see the empty road at happy hour
Leave and resonate
Just like the gates
Around the holy kingdom
With words like 'Lost and Found' and 'Don't Look Down'
And 'Someone Save Temptation'
And

Please, remember me
As in the dream
We had as rug-burned babies
Among the fallen trees
And fast asleep
Aside the lions and the ladies
That called you what you like
And even might
Give a gift for your behavior
A fleeting chance to see
A trapeze
Swing as high as any savior
But

Please, remember me
My misery
And how it lost me all I wanted
Those dogs that love the rain
And chasing trains
The colored birds above there running
In circles round the well
And where it spells
On the wall behind St. Peter's
So bright with cinder gray
And spray paint
'Who the hell can see forever?'
And

Please, remember me
Seldomly
In the car behind the carnival
My hand between your knees
You turn from me
And said 'The trapeze act was wonderful
But never meant to last'
The clown that passed
Saw me just come up with anger
When it filled with circus dogs
The parking lot
Had an element of danger
So

Please, remember me
Finally
And all my uphill clawing
My dear
But if i make
The pearly gates
Do my best to make a drawing
Of G-d and Lucifer
A boy and girl
An angel kissin on a sinner
A monkey and a man
A marching band
All around the frightened trapeze swingers

Na-na
Na-na-na
Na-na
Na-na...

Iron & Wine

Five Favorite Songs of the Day

The Trapeze Swinger-Iron & Wine, February 10, 2007

It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)-Bob Dylan, Amsterdam April 9, 2007

Life Worth Livin'-Uncle Tupelo, No Depression

Volver, Volver-Los Lobos, Just Another Band from East LA

All My Love in Vain-Sonny Boy Williamson, His Best, The Chess 50th Anniversary Collection

Happy Tuesday, friends.

andrew

2 comments:

Joyce said...

Happy Tuesday Andrew.

Christie said...

I'm sorry your week hasnt started off so good. I hope it gets better for the second half. Since you dont get Thursday off does that mean you dont get any day off this week?

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Grand Haven, Michigan
the sun shines on a dog's ass every now & then...